


Ship in a Storm

by tcmbstcne



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon-Typical Violence, Fix-It of Sorts, Gen, Gray Jedi, Gray Jedi Anakin, Gray Jedi Obi-Wan, anyway. obi-wan is bitter and fed-up, basically everyone goes gray, i mean rots never happens so that's something
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-03
Updated: 2018-07-13
Packaged: 2019-06-04 20:13:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,736
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15154778
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tcmbstcne/pseuds/tcmbstcne
Summary: "Let go of anger, you must," Yoda's voice echoed in Obi-Wan's thoughts, "or to the Dark Side you will fall."Obi-Wan pushed that warning to the back of his mind.---Obi-Wan has become bitter and trusted less in the light side of the Force and the Jedi since Qui-Gon's death.  With a Padawan under his wing, he attempts to balance his emotions with his duties, but he remains haunted by the things he could have done.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> This is a little project for Camp NaNoWriMo. I haven't written anything in a long, long time so consider this my... comeback?
> 
> This is all vaguely based on The Exit from Razia's Shadow.
> 
> Thanks to Brielle and Kyndal for beta'ing this little prologue for me. <3

_"Let go of anger, you must,"_ Yoda's voice echoed in Obi-Wan's thoughts, _"or to the Dark Side you will fall."_

Obi-Wan pushed that warning to the back of his mind.

He had been trying his best to stay away from bitterness and thoughts of revenge, but how could he when it was all so fresh? Everything hurt so badly; practicing forms, reporting to the Council, sleeping, eating. Things harder now that his master was gone. Sometimes even breathing stung, when he thought about how useless he had been to protect Qui-Gon. When he saw the lightsaber plunge through Qui-Gon's chest and his lifeless body tumbled forward, again and again in Obi-Wan's dreams. He found no solace in turning away from the pain. The fact of the matter was that Qui-Gon Jinn was dead and Obi-Wan was alone. He had to accept that fact.

He had to do something about it.

 _"No,"_ he corrected himself gently. _"Focus. Redirect the anger."_

Obi-Wan shifted from thoughts of the past to those of the present. He took careful note of how his chest rose and fell. He listened to the sounds of Coruscant, as if the busy day-to-day soundtrack of life outside was reaching up to him from the ground below. Most of all, he paid attention to the Force, feeling it flow through him with every breath. Just for moments at a time, he could feel it bending and shifting around him, as if it were a physical being beside him. It was in these moments that he was able to find peace and everything else slipped away. He breathed in deeply as the Force carefully twisted around him. Within him.

"Master Kenobi?" A small voice jolted him back from his peace. Obi-Wan opened his eyes to see Anakin standing in the doorway. The boy was hiding in in the doorframe as if he were guilty of watching.

Obi-Wan uncrossed his legs and shifted so he could face the child. "What is it, Anakin?" He cringed as his exasperated voice echoed off of the chamber walls.

"How can I be a better Jedi?" Anakin asked cautiously, stepping into the room with his gaze on his feet. "All of the other Padawans say even the Younglings are better than me."

Anakin refused to pick his gaze up.  He picked at the sleeves of his robe and shifted his weight back and forth on his feet.

When he looked at Anakin, Obi-Wan did not see the Chosen One. He saw a terrified boy who would forever be out of his element.

"They have the advantage of starting their training earlier, but you have your own advantages, Anakin. Just keep working hard." Obi-Wan smiled, though it didn't reach his eyes. "There is a reason Qui-Gon fought for you."


	2. Plexis

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Obi-Wan and Anakin are assigned to investigate rumors of a Dark Force user on a nearby planet.

Obi-Wan stepped gingerly out of the ship and onto the stony grounds of Plexis. Faded light just barely filtered in between the rock walls and stone growths that surrounded the ship, casting a dim, warm glow over the area. A few red-lit lampposts illuminated the thin walkway that led down from the landing space. The space was so quiet that it seemed as if he could have been the only living thing on the entire planet; it was a place where he could imagine himself being at peace.

Of course, that wasn't true - Plexis wasn't uninhabited - but it was nice to imagine.

"There's supposed to be a Sith apprentice _here_?" Anakin muttered incredulously, stepping out of the ship behind him. Obi-Wan made a mental note to speak to his Padawan about subtlety and respectfulness later.

"It may look deserted," Obi-Wan said, leading the way down the steps off the landing platform and to the red walkway, "but Plexis is known for its spice gangs. There is more than enough danger here without the interference of the Sith."

"Then let's find him and get out of here." Anakin began to pace ahead of Obi-Wan.

"Patience." Obi-Wan wondered how many times he'd had to chastise Anakin for rushing ahead in the past year. 16-year-olds were never patient, but as with everything else, Anakin added a new meaning to "restlessness."

"We can't charge into the first spice mine we see," Obi-Wan said, coming to a stop. "We need to have a plan."

Anakin begrudgingly turned around to face him, indicating that the Padawan indeed did not know what he'd do when he inevitably encountered spice traders.

"Focus on the Force," Obi-Wan instructed. Even on a mission like this, there was time for training. Anakin frowned but nevertheless closed his eyes. "Reach out. Look for nearby Force Signatures."

Obi-Wan watched as Anakin shifted from foot to foot, eyebrows furrowed in concentration. Then, his eyes snapped open. Just as headstrong as before but infinitely more focused, Anakin led his Master down the walkway.

The two walked in silence, their footfalls the only sounds echoing off the stone walls, until they came upon a series of openings in the wall to their left. They were all scattered, some higher than others, and each looked as if the stone had pulled itself apart to create a doorway.

"This must be how they access the mines," Obi-Wan commented, peering through the entrance of one of the smaller crevices.

"I can sense a presence inside. Something... not dark, but heavy." Anakin's voice was steady and confident but Obi-Wan caught the questioning look in his eyes as he too peered into one of the cave openings.

"Yes," Obi-Wan assured him, "it may not be our Sith but it's certainly something unusual."

Anakin didn't bother to ask if it was worth investigating. Once again, he let his instincts lead him forward. Obi-Wan followed, ducking beneath the low-hanging entryway. As they moved towards the back of the narrow cavern it grew darker, but it didn't deter Anakin. He kept moving forward through the pitch-black, Obi-Wan following the sound of his footsteps and using his senses in the Force to avoid the cave walls. Eventually, the dark began to peter away as a faint light filtered from a narrow section of the cavern ahead. As they got closer, the overwhelming smells of spice and oil began to drift towards them.

Obi-Wan squeezed past Anakin to take the lead as the Padawan's footsteps began to slow. He motioned for Anakin to wait in the shadows, then he crept forward, crouching behind the stony growths that jutted up from the bottom of the cave floor.

As he went further in his eyes adjusted to the light and all at once he saw around him a fully functional and somewhat busy mine system. Electric lamps buzzed dimly over a series of conveyor belts and machines. Old droids pushed containers full of raw and refined spice through the cavern, which had quickly opened up into a spacious chamber. However, the most prominent figures in the mine were humanoid life forms.

Each of them was covered in a thin layer of fur, though none seemed to look very alike in color or pattern. Their hands were equipped with two thumbs each, and their feet appeared just as dexterous. Their eyes were the most striking feature, deep-set in their long faces; they were all bright blue and contrasted the black tips of their noses. Every pair of milky eyes in the chamber carried weight.

Each of these creatures - Uogo, as Obi-Wan recalled from his studies - was trapped by heavy iron collars around their necks, as well as locks around their wrists and ankles. They were all chained to each other in lines, or to machines and heavy metal carts filled with freshly-mined spice and stones.

They were slaves. Every one of them.

Obi-Wan felt the air in the passage behind him shift as Anakin, clearly ignoring orders, crept forward to get a look at what had sent Obi-Wan's heart into his throat. Obi-Wan felt Anakin's fury through the Force before he even saw the scene reflected in his Padawan's eyes.

Obi-Wan couldn't help but pity the boy. He remembered many nights when little Anakin would come running to his sleeping quarters frightened by nightmares of returning to Watto's shop and all the pain that came with it. Even as Anakin got older the nightmares hadn't stopped, though they had grown less frequent. They had become a rarity when Anakin had graduated from a Youngling to a Padawan Learner, but Obi-Wan still remembered the terror and rage that had ebbed into the Force when that 10-year-old boy would cry himself back to sleep.

Obi-Wan bit his comments back and turned back to focus on the mine. All he could do for Anakin now was get through the mission and get back to the Jedi Temple as soon as possible.

Obi-Wan's gaze darted around the chamber, looking for signs of more life. If there were slaves, there had to be someone to manage them, and it was more than likely that this someone was the source of the weight growing in Obi-Wan's chest. The cavern didn't hint towards any presences other than those of the Uogo and the droids. However, Obi-Wan spotted a pair of passageways, one on the left wall of the chamber and one on the right.

_"We should try to find this Force Signature in one of the next chambers."_ Obi-Wan sent his thoughts to Anakin through their training bond. Though it wasn't as strong as it could have been by now, it was much safer to communicate with than speaking in a room full of droids and enslaved Uogo.  _"We'll need to split up. Go through the passageway on the left. Keep out of sight and be sure to follow the Force Signature."_

Anakin finally tore his eyes away from the spice mine to nod in Obi-Wan's direction.

_"I'll go first,"_ Obi-Wan said. He began to sidle along behind rock formations towards the series of columns that held up the chamber. Then he paused to look back to his Padawan.

_"Be careful."_

Anakin nodded once more and then disappeared behind the stones in the opposite direction.

Obi-Wan peeked out of his hiding place to gauge the room. The Uogo were focused on their work and the droids appeared to divide their attention between their own duties and keeping the slaves working. When he was sure he wouldn't be spotted, he quickly leaped between columns and made his way across the space. The sounds of the mine covered his footsteps, but he still held his breath as he slipped from behind a pile of discarded rocks into the narrow crack in the wall.

The passage he entered was so thin that he immediately had to sidle into it. Just like the rest of the cave, as he got further from the main chamber the light faded. Though the walls eventually widened out to a comfortable distance, Obi-Wan found himself slowing down. The weight in his chest was growing lighter, meaning he was going in the wrong direction. He had just decided to turn around when he found himself at a dead end.

Though he couldn't see, he could feel the Force filling the space up more than it had in the passageway. Obi-Wan could sense that the room was lined with something other than stone - metal. He reached out into the darkness as he turned away from the back wall of the room to feel his fingertips brushing against the rounded corners of shipping containers.

It was an odd place to store spice, but Obi-Wan could tell it was secure.

Still, it wasn't the chamber he'd been looking for.

Which could only mean that his Padawan would soon be facing a slave driver and potential Dark Side user. On his own.

Obi-Wan shuffled as quickly as he could back down the passage but halfway back to the chamber his worries were confirmed.

_"I've found him, Master,"_ Anakin relayed faintly through the bond.

_"Anakin, do not engage him. Wait for me."_ Obi-Wan spoke as the light slowly returned in the passage. Then a huge rush of adrenaline hit him.

He'd spoken too late. Anakin had been spotted.

Obi-Wan gave up on stealth and shuffled as quickly as he could through the narrow entrance to the main chamber. Images of Darth Maul and Qui-Gon's shapes fighting at the end of that long hallway flooded his mind. He could feel his heartbeat in his throat.

As soon as he was free of the passage he charged forward at a run. The Uogo turned their eyes up from their work as he passed, panic setting into their faces. The droids all reacted at once as Obi-Wan scrambled underneath the high conveyor belts and equipment. Some of those who had been working at the machines turned on the Uogo to try and calm them - or force them into submission. The others, DLC-13s who had been transporting various forms of the illegal spice, scrambled after Obi-Wan. They all abandoned their cargo. The Repulsorlift on some of the cauldrons kicked off.

All hell broke loose.

Small clouds of spice dust drifted through the air. Obi-Wan pressed his sleeve against his face to keep from inhaling it, but the Uogo couldn't all do the same. Chains began to rattle and clang all around as the large, hairy aliens were forced to inhale the drugs.

At the same time, the droids started firing makeshift blasters attached to their manipulator arms. Obi-Wan was able to dodge the uncoordinated shots. Some of the shots were so far off that they ended up hitting the back wall of the cavern. With the Uogo screeching around him, Obi-Wan spent a split-second looking over his shoulder, focusing, directing the misfired blasts with the Force.

The entire room was suddenly filled with heavy copper fog. The spice dust stored in the opposite chamber was rolling steadily out of the narrow opening in the wall. It was enough to blind the armed droids - and to send the rest of the Uogo into a full-on riot. Obi-Wan pinched his eyes shut and held his breath. The Force guided him into the passageway Anakin had gone down.

When he could no longer run without air Obi-Wan stopped and opened his eyes. This passage resembled a stone hallway more than it did a cave tunnel. The floor had been smoothed and evened out and the whole walkway was just as well-lit as the main chamber.

To confirm he was in the right place, the adrenaline that floated on the Force increased and mixed with anger. Obi-Wan's survival instincts faded out and his anxiety faded back in. He sprinted down the hallway until it revealed a clean, square room, metal walls shining.

In the center, under the bright lights, was Anakin, lightsaber ignited. He was swinging wildly at a massive Aqualish. Obi-Wan opened his mouth to grab the alien's attention when he held out a huge green hand and--

The rumors were true.

Obi-Wan flew towards the wall beside him, shoved in a violent use of the Force. The Aqualish's arm swung up and Obi-Wan floated up with it. Then he was slammed against the ground and all he could hear was the hiss of Anakin's lightsaber.

 

When he came to, Obi-Wan shot up from his prone position on the floor to see Anakin bruised and bloodied but standing over the Aqualish. His lightsaber was held over his opponent's head.

"Anakin, no!" Obi-Wan reached through the Force and gripped the hilt of Anakin's lightsaber, holding the blade back from the Aqualish's neck.

Anakin fought back, gritting his teeth and pulling against Obi-Wan's hold with both hands. "I'm finishing the mission, Master!" he growled. "We were told to find the Sith and--"

"And _apprehend_ him, Anakin! Not kill him!" Obi-Wan shouted. His Force grip on the hilt tightened and Anakin began to lose the struggle against it. Still, there was no sign of giving up in his blue eyes; just rage, and... something else.

Obi-Wan felt something shift inside him then - suddenly he felt everything Anakin was feeling. He was overwhelmed by pain, in his chest, his throat, his stomach; everywhere ached. Fear rushed through his veins and numbed his senses.

Obi-Wan found it all too familiar. He understood Anakin.

But he didn't let go of the 'saber hilt.

"Reel in your emotions! You can't kill him, Anakin. It is not the Jedi way!" Obi-Wan took a step towards Anakin, who didn't move but kept his eyes on him. "Remember what Master Windu says; if you strike him down in anger--"

"Isn't that what you did, Master?" Anakin retorted. "You killed Darth Maul because you were angry. Because he killed your Master."

Obi-Wan felt a wave of frustration rising and tried to dispel it, but there was no time to focus on the Force. A straggling group of droids shuffled out of the mine and began firing at him. He deflected the blasts until the first few were dispatched, then took another step towards his Padawan. "I killed Darth Maul because I had to! He was a Sith Lord, Anakin! A danger to us all!"

"And yet you haven't killed anyone since, Sith or otherwise." Anakin growled. "You didn't have to kill him, just like I don't _have_ to now!" His blade inched closer to the alien's throat but his gaze was still locked on Obi-Wan, even as droids trickled out of the darkness. "Admit it, Master! You killed Maul because he hurt you! He killed Qui-Gon and you wanted justice."

Obi-Wan's attention was yanked back behind him as the clouds of spice from the main chamber drifted in. With them came a group of droids, firing blindly into the room. He quickly pulled his lightsaber up to guard his face, reflecting a wave of shots back at them. Metal clangs rang through the room as they tumbled to the floor. The frustration that was building inside of him was shifting now, and with no way to dispel it he swayed in the emotion like a ship in a storm. The hurt and anger of that old wound from Naboo came back to crackle at the edges of his mind.

His Force grip on Anakin's lightsaber was fading.

"Let me have justice. Not for myself. For those slaves. Just this once." Anakin pressed the blade up to the Aqualish's throat now. The alien squirmed, trying to avoid being burned, but Anakin pressed his boot into his chest.

Obi-Wan tried to speak - to tell him no, or yes, or to wait, or, or, _something_ \- but his voice caught in his throat.

Anakin decided his Master's silence was permission enough. He swung his lightsaber above his head, ready to strike the Aqualish down.

Obi-Wan felt guilt rush up to meet the turmoil swaying in his chest. He could lie to the Council, or set up a situation that made it look like there was no other option than to kill him, but he knew if he let Anakin do this he would never be able to personally move away from it. He took a deep breath and pushed the emotion out into the Force.

Anakin and the Aqualish both toppled towards the wall. The scattered droid carcasses in the cave rattled and slammed into the floor. Spice dust settled on the floor and the walls.

Slowly, Obi-Wan approached Anakin and offered his hand to help him up. Anakin snatched his lightsaber hilt up from where it had fallen on the ground and stood, turning away from Obi-Wan.

"You win, Master. _Apprehend_ him." he hissed. Then the teenager pressed his face into his sleeve and made his way back out of the mine entrance, disappearing on the lit walkway behind the polished metal walls.

Obi-Wan pulled out a pair of durasteel cuffs from a pouch on his belt and placed them on the dazed Aqualish. He followed his Padawan's footsteps back to the ship in silence.

As he passed through the mining chamber the Uogo lunged against their bonds at the Aqualish, growling and shouting curses at the man who had kept them enslaved for so long. The sadness in their eyes had been replaced by fury. Obi-Wan knew it wasn't their own emotion. The spice had settled all over their fur. It had no doubt damaged their minds.

He frowned and turned away from them. He carried on with the mission.

Once he'd placed the slaver in the shuttle's holding cell he found Anakin waiting in the cockpit.

Neither of them spoke until Plexis was a dot turning beneath them.

The stars in the viewport ahead of them stretched out into starlines when Anakin finally turned towards Obi-Wan.

"We could have helped them."

Obi-Wan didn't take his eyes off of hyperspace. "We had to make a decision. Although it doesn't have immediate effects, I think we made the right one."

"How can you say that?" Anakin hissed. "You think leaving those slaves behind to get worked to death was the right thing to do?"

"It was either set them free and lose a lead or complete the mission." Obi-Wan's voice was cold but measured. It had to be to keep the images of the crazed Uogo away.

"I'm _sorry_ , Master, but I think people's lives are more important than finishing a mission. The Jedi Council could have waited, or sent someone else out. They could have taken the Sith in themselves. We could have helped those people!"

"Anakin, did you look at them as you left the cave?" The Padawan did not answer. Obi-Wan's lips flattened out into a thin line. "They were violent. Crazed. They had been exposed to more than enough spice to send a Bantha on a trip to the Outer Rim and back. They were trying to kill the slaver - rightfully so, but it was my duty to protect him. I did what I had to do for the sake of the Order."

Anakin was silent for a long while. His eyes drifted to his lap. "Kriff the whole Order," he mumbled. Obi-Wan pretended not to hear. Then Anakin spoke to him again. His tone was flat now. He refused to look away from his lap. "If the slaves were a problem then you should have just let me kill him. At least then you could have set them free."

Obi-Wan pulled his gaze away from the viewport while the starlines flatted back out into stars. "Believe me," he said quietly, honestly, "once you have killed, you can never go back."


End file.
